(photo by An_Tarzan on flickr)
I've been struggling with blogging lately. My interest in personality theory continues to be a huge part of my conscious thoughts, but I don't want that to be the focus of my blog.
So today I thought I'd share a glimpse into the zany, illogical way my brain works. (Which I'm sure is in large part due to my INFJ preferences.)
I had a revelation this morning. Throughout my life I've always categorized people (big surprise, eh?). But my intention has never been to label people or confine them by limitations. Rather, I use the categorizations to make interactions easier and smoother. As an introvert, I'm not a natural socializer. But I became very skilled in getting along with everyone by recognizing people's motivations, different ways of thinking, values, etc. and using that knowledge to find connections. I can't relate to everyone, but I can relate to a part of everyone.
By high school I was able to move in and out of different social cliques with ease. I was an "A" student, president of the National Honor Society, and my best friends were "brains." But, I was also a varsity cheerleader and could hang with the jocks. At school dances I was known to break dance with the basketball players. And the first guy I dated was a hard partier. At home, I was a "tomboy" and very comfortable hanging out with my brother's friends (think "greaser" meets southern rock lovers--I think I confused my classmates when I greeted those guys in the halls!) And my ballet background gave me a solid position among the drama/theater crowd.
But what I didn't know was how to label me.
So that brings me to my revelation. I started watching the vlogbrothers on Youtube. Those guys are brilliant! They are very intelligent and hilarious, but what I love most about them is the relationship they share. They just adore each other and their families. One is an award-winning novelist and the other is a web designer and environmentalist who runs ecogeek.org. What hit me while watching them, is that they are of the "type" that I most admire and (naturally) feel most awkward around. So, I created a new label for me: I am a nerd-wannabe. (Ha! Who would ever admit THAT?) I want to be as intelligent and quick witted as they are. I want to understand the nuances and implications of each reference they make. I want to be able to respond in kind: have a witty comeback, a creative thought that takes the conversation to new possibilities. I want to be like them.
So, why is it that the one "type" who I feel most awkward with is the one type I most want to be like?